Category Archives: biblical parenting

Family Mission Statement, Rules, Values, Vows, and Verse

We did it.  Finally put this all together (by God’s grace and my husband’s intentionality).

The Draper Family Mission Statement: Every day we will joyfully choose to love and serve God and our neighbors.

The Draper Family Verse:  Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful.  Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with the gratitude in your hearts.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

– Colossians 3:12-17

The Draper Family House Rules: 

1. Love God
2. Obey Right Away
3. Have a Happy Heart
4. Be Kind
5. Work Hard
 

The Draper Family Values: To intentionally practice humility, forgiveness, self-control, joy, patience, grace, service, love, and prayer with our family, friends, and the world.

The Draper Parent’s Vows: To treat our children gently, provide consistency, and be trustworthy

The Draper Kids Expectations: To honor and obey daddy and mommy, always being honest

Choosing Thankfulness

My partner’s gone this week.  Work traveler…

BIG FAT SAD FACE

However…when I tend to bathe in cookies, ice cream, late night movie marathons, pity party’s, and other self-indulgences while he’s away…I am choosing thankfulness this week.  Maybe it’s my new obsession with Instagram…or the 100 Happy Days challenge I’m doing ON Instagram…but however it happened, God is gracing me with peace and thankfulness this week.

Husband and I up at 5am Monday morning so he can catch his flight? Peace.  He gets to the airport to find out his flight is cancelled and instead goes to work over an hour early? Peace.  Husband and I up at 5am Tuesday morning so he can catch his rescheduled flight? Peace (though, I was not so much ‘up at 5am’ this particular morning…).  Once again he gets to the airport to find out his flight is cancelled…Peace.  God reveals to me that all of our prayers for ‘safe travels’ and ‘protection’ could have been answered through him missing rush hour traffic two mornings in a row.  Or flying two mornings when there were storms…or who knows how God ‘protects’ us – we don’t even know all of the things that we miss!

Checking out at Target with the kids behind another customer who’s credit card isn’t getting read and it’s taking forever at the same time I should have them home in bed? Peace.  My 4 month old literally crying the entire way home? Peace.  My almost 4 year old telling me she had to go potty as soon as I pulled out of the gas station parking lot (to check on the 4 month old and try to assess why he was still crying…)? Peace.

We’ve still got 2 days to miss him and lots more opportunities for stress and sadness and selfishness…But thank you God for unexpected days home together, plans still working out for Joel’s work needed done in Mexico, kids who sing to the baby when he’s crying, over-tired cuddles, going to sleep right away, Grandma’s who help out, Kids Eat Free night at Chik-Fil-A, and a God who is teaching and molding in every situation

 

Homeschool Convention recap #2

Did you catch my first recap from the Homeschool Convention?

Here’s Part 2

A speaker I went to for 2 different sessions was Ruth Schwenk, the creater of The Better Mom (my favorite blog!)

Her whole topic for the day was called Making it as a Mom and again I’ll just transfer my notes on here to share with you her questions and challenges for us as moms!

Part 1: Looking In

A mom who embraces the call from God as a mom will flourish

Where is your heart as a mom? Are you awake to the mission God has called you to as a mom? Ephesians 5:14-16

1. Don’t minimize your role

Being a mom is not less than anything else.

Being a mom isn’t about your place in life, it’s about your purpose in life

The man Moses would become was shaped by the parent Moses’ mom had been.  Exodus 1:15-18 & Hebrews 11:23-27

Brick by brick we (moms/parents) are building an estate.

2. Don’t misuse your time

Learn how to say ‘no’ (they you’ll be able to say ‘yes’ to your family!)

Once you accept the ministry that God has given you as your first priority, there is freedom

Set your priorities: what is my personal vision?  If I don’t have integrity at home, how can I in my ministry?

Create a schedule

Be able to relinquish the fact that you’re a night owl for what is best for your family and yourself (Personally, I need to do this! In Christian Atheist by Craig Groeschel, he talks about how is wife just began praying each day that God would help her get up early each morning to start her day.  And through her faithful prayer, God changed her!)

3. Don’t miss the point

Our mission and calling as moms is to raise and release children who, like everyone else in God’s story, are called to glorify God.

Psalm 127: children are a reward, a payment that should be received joyfully!

Children are arrows: wherever they land, they wound the enemy.

1 Corinthians 15:58

By changing myself, I am impacting my children.

Am I lifting my head to the mission God has called me to?

Part 2: Looking Out (to our family)

Calling

What are we aiming at?

If you do not set a mission, values, and a priority for your family, the world will.

Ruth then shared her family’s mission statement, values (a list kind of like the fruits of the spirit), and their family verse.  Joel and I discussed this on the way home and are so excited to define all of these for our family and then post them in our house – I’ll also post them in an upcoming blog!  What is your family’s mission statement and verse?!

Counting the Cost

Motherhood as a mission filed: lay yourself down.  Die to self.  “Gain that which you cannot lose in them” (a quote from a contributor on The Better Mom blog)

Our actions must confrim the words: “I love you”

Be intentional, face-t0-face, enjoy them, speak words of life over them

Consistent Training

It is only by God’s grace that our children turn out at all!  And only His grace turns them out – not our best intentions

She suggested the book Heartfelt Discipline by Clay Clarkson and the website wholeheart.org

Continual Teaching

It is imperative as a parent that we are intentional about teaching our children the truth as God’s Word, healping them become rooted in their faith

Bottom line: raise up disciples (flashback to what John Rosemond said in Part 1 of our homeschool recap!)

“I will forsake the good to have time for the best”

Thoughts on this recap?!

My war is not against flesh and blood

Little can be sweeter than victory after nasty defeat!

Naptime and bedtime still rages war in our home.
We have prayed, and prayed, and PRAYED over this situation
We have sought so much (wise) counsel as to how to ‘break’ Mylin of getting out of bed, or how to ‘make’ her obedient, and how to do it lovingly, or patiently, or absent of anger
But let me tell you – for a girl who struggles with an angry heart – this has been HARD

Today I was blessed with some very encouraging counsel from my mentor (thank you, Mom Life!!!)
I was reminded that this is my highest calling – to care for, teach, and train these children God has blessed us with
I quit my job for this – a job that I loved…but also used as a ‘break’ from being a mom
That is not where God wanted my heart

Satan loves to remind me that I could get my job back – or get so flooded with opportunities to serve, or volunteer, or fill my days with ‘stuff’ that keeps me away from my focus on my children
But Satan’s work gets so skewed in my mind and I find myself being angry at Mylin for not staying in bed and not going to sleep and manipulating me
Or I get mad at Joel for ‘messing up’ our routine by being home and wanting to take over naptime on the weekends (uh, hello – this is a team effort, Rachel – get over yourself and let go of the reins…)

But my war is NOT against flesh and blood
Joel so wisely reminded me a few weekends ago:
“We’re on the same team”
Wow, you’re right – so why am I so mad at you?!?!?

Get behind (me) us, Satan!
We need to put on our armor (Ephesians 6:10-18) of God daily and remember that we (Joel & I) are united in Christ and fighting with Him agains the evil one.

I so appreciated this reminder and the flood of refreshment it brought to my mind, heart, and spirit
God is using this to teach me self-control…how can I expect my 2 year old to have it, when I cannot even display it during a routine naptime?!?!

This is all about training her heart too…that obedience to mommy is done out of love for mommy
Just like mommy is obedient to God out of her love (and sacrifice of self) to Him

God is using this tiny, frustrating, beautiful, big-grinned, silly goose 2 year old to train my heart
Thank you, God, for an adorable lesson 🙂

House Rules and Family Values

In our house we have been trying to establish ways to build character in this little sweetie:

So I’ve adapted some tools from my sister-in-law Jill (LOVE her) – that she used with her kids as toddlers

House Rules:
1. Love God
2. Obey Right Away
3. Have a Happy Heart (Jill’s was ‘Tell the Truth’)
4. Be Kind
5. Work Hard

Over the last several weeks we’ve been reciting these with Mylin with a corresponding finger on her hand – an easy way for her to remember, right?!
It has worked great – she enjoys learning them and saying them and often asks us “Which one is this?” and holds up any number of fingers, wanting us to tell her which is which again 🙂

Today, Joel brought up that ‘Be Kind’ is an outward expression of relating to others, not a heart issue, and wondered if we should change, adapt, or add another rule on to address the heart of how we treat others
Then we discussed maybe having family values (much like the list of verses in 1 Thessalonians 12-22) as a separate part of character building in our home – something that older children can learn, but not as simple as what the toddler will memorize…

What are your thoughts on this?

What house rules or family values do you live by in your home?
What evidences of character building do your children memorize?

We would love to have more ideas!!!

Obedience: Baptism

“Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace?  Of course not!  Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?  Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death?  For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism.  And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives. 

Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was.  We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives.  We are no longer slaves to sin.  For when we died with Christ we were set free from the power of sin.  And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him.  We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again.  Death no longer has any power over him.  When he died, he died once to break the power of sin.  But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God.  So you also should consider yourselves to be dead to the power of sin and alive to Go through Christ Jesus.

Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires.  Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin.  Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life.  So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.  Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law.  Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace.

Well then, since God’s grace has set us free from the law, does that mean we can go on sinning?  Of course not!  Don’t you realize that you become the slave of whatever you choose to obey?  You can be a slave to sin, which leads to death, or you can choose to obey God, which leads to righteous living.  Thank God!  Once you were slaves of sin, but now you wholeheartedly obey this teaching we have given you.  Now you are free from your slavery to sin, and you have become slaves to righteous living.

Because of the weakness of your human nature, I am using the illustration of slavery to help you understand all this.  Previously, you let yourselves be slaves to impurity and lawlessness, which led ever deeper into sin.  Now you must give yourselves to be slaves to righteous living so that you will become holy.

When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the obligation to do right.  And what was the result?  You are now ashamed of the things you use to do, things that end in eternal doom.  But now you are free from the power of sin and have become slaves of God.  Now you do those things that lead to holiness and result in eternal life.  For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 6
 
I could write a lot about why Joel and I decided to get baptized today…
For me, it was hiding behind infant baptism, pride, and just plain being disobedient…
But nothing can explain why I am being obedient now like reading this chapter from God’s Word.
 
Thank you, Lord, for new and eternal life!


Due date…

So way back on September 24th when we found out Wee One was on the way – we calculated our due date to be May 29th, 2012
TODAY
After the longest first trimester ever…we were given the due date of June 5th, 2012…which I was not willing to accept in disagreement with…(I know, I know, an entire 7 more days?! What is the big deal pregnant lady?!)
So (we’ve) I’ve been telling everyone for the past several months we’re due ‘at the end of May’ figuring that gives us a little cushion and doesn’t lock us down to a date

Well…it seems as though we may really not be expecting the arrival of this undeserved blessing until the month of June!
This is hard for me to swallow… 😦
I have been battling high hopes, broken expectations, and depression these last few weeks
I am SO anxious and excited for baby to come I can hardly stand it!
It is pretty much ALL I think about:
“Was that a contraction?”
“Will my water break if I walk around the zoo all morning?”
“I kind of want to mow so I can wear myself out…maybe that’ll start labor…”
After the emotional battle of the last few weeks I am so thankful that through desperate prayer and seeking, God has really given me peace and freedom over this situation
I have been thinking that I could control this situation somehow!
Ha! What a delusion…
Now I know many people are given the option of some kind of control over births – and for a lot of us that is for our safety or our child’s safety
But at this point, I am feeling so good and my pregnancy is going so well, that there is no risk!

God has been using friends to speak truth into my life about my perspective as well
Everything from: Remembering at the beginning of this pregnancy we weren’t sure if Wee One would survive to this point or not…so I am so thankful to still be pregnant!
To: A friend of mine delivering her daughter at 26 weeks (which was just over a week ago) and us being reminded how thankful we are for the healthy pregnancy He has blessed us with
Thank you God for these reminders – and please comfort and heal those who have not been blessed in this area

Because we desperately want a VBAC with this birth (after about 26 hours of labor with Mylin I had her via c-section), my options of ‘inducing’ labor are even more limited…like pretty much I cannot be medically induced (which I have no desire to be)
BUT my doctor said if I did change my mind and wanted to do a c-section I could schedule that at any time…like I could have had the baby last week…
I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that offer wasn’t tempting!
I know that we want to have the option to experience a vaginal birth…and if it isn’t with this baby – I won’t be able to (Around here no one will let you try a VBAC after 2 consecutive c-sections)

SO, for now I am set to let this baby come on it’s own, in God’s timing…
But I sure am praying daily “Please let it be today!”
One of these days, it will be 🙂