Twelve days ago, as I was walking out into the yard, holding Sullivan, every mom and pregnant mom’s worst nightmare was immediately upon me: I FELL.
Not only was it scary to fall with Sully in my arms (and I fell directly onto him, mind you), but I was immediately fearful of falling on the unborn baby I am carrying! Sullivan, true-to-form, crawled away without crying or apparently realizing he was in the center of what could-have-been a catastrophe. Joel, just coming out the front door was confused and scared – wondering why I was lying in the grass…I picked myself up, looked at Joel and told him I had fallen and wasn’t sure what to do next
When pregnant with Mylin, I had fallen down our deck stairs onto concrete in the winter 😦 boo – that hurt. But I had already been feeling her kick frequently, so I knew I could pay attention to any changes in that (which there weren’t any) and be reassured that she was ok
This time around, being not even 16 weeks along, I hadn’t felt the baby move or kick yet – so I wasn’t sure exactly how to proceed…
After some mom-friend counsel, I decided just to call the on-call nurse, who reassured me to just take it easy for the night, and only to come in to the ER if I was experiencing cramping or bleeding. Well, coupled with the recent running adventure I had embarked on, I wasn’t sure if my lower back pain was fall or exercise related…
As I lay in bed, I was fervently praying that God would make it clear if we needed to head to the ER that night. I didn’t want to go in for an expensive and unnecessary trip, however, I didn’t want to be ignorant and stay home if the baby was hurt
As Joel and I talked about it, we decided that if something HAD happened, no matter when we went in, we couldn’t reverse it…and we began meditating on how GOOD God is to us, no matter our circumstances, blessings, or blessings removed
And as I was resolving myself to this and continuing to pray for clarity in the situation, I was suddenly distracted!
And, wait-for-it….a few minutes later, there it was again!
THE FIRST KICKS!
God not only made it very clear to us that the baby was healthy – He chose to give us the precious gift of feeling life inside of me!!!
As we have shared this story and rejoiced over the reassurance of tiny baby flutters and kicks – I am reminded of the thought and lesson that God WOULD STILL BE just as good if those kicks would have never come…
We must continue to train ourselves towards godliness and so that our mind muscle is already flexed in the direction of thanking Him, resting in Him, and trusting His ways