Motherhood: Servant vs. Martyr

An exerpt from Jen Hatmaker’s: Out of the Spin Cycle Devotional

She is explaining how she chose to be a stay-at-home mom, but with the wrong idea of what it would look like:

“But when I took that as my identity, I developed a sense of entitlement and did a lot of waiting around for credit.  I held the emotional position that I was doing everyone a favor.  This top-down perspective tainted everything, becasue if I wasn’t perfectly appreciated, adequately recognized, or verbally praised (and what mom is?), then I became the wounded martyr who was always disgruntled.”

“If there is a more thankless, unglamorous job than motherhood, I haven’t seen it.  I know you get it, girls.  Something about being covered in other people’s urine and vomit while scrubbing toilet’s and hearing your precious cherub say ‘NO!’ to you twelve hundred times a day makes moms bat-poop crazy sometimes.  On super bad days, you might even say, ‘Is this really my life?'”

“When I choose servant instead of martyr, my children enjoy the security that they are welcomed in our home.  They are not a thorn in my flesh, cutting into my personal time.  They aren’t a nuisance, making me sigh with irritation all day.  They are welcomed members of this family, loved and purposed.  And when my children are welcomed, I have opened the very doors of heaven and invited God himself into the laughter, chaos, and life of our home.  Now that is greatness.”

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5 responses to “Motherhood: Servant vs. Martyr

  1. whew. I need to remember this on mornings like today when I feel anxious before I even get out of bed…lol! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  2. Thanks for this! I needed to hear it today.

  3. I could be wrong in assuming we all struggle with this at some point but there is so much freedom in releasing that and embracing this role as truly the best gift. It took me way too long to truly embrace it and some days I do it better than others. Just thankful The Lord continues to change me.

  4. I remember reading that last paragraph over and over again while my heart screamed, Yes! That is it!!

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