This past weekend Joel and I were so blessed to learn in Cincinnati at the Midwest Homeschool Convention
We were so excited to go and very unsure of what to expect…plus I was leaving Sullivan for the first time and nervous how he would do and how my mom and our babysitter, Emma, would do back at home!
Of course both kids did awesome, slept like champs, ate like grown men, and were loved on by two of their favorite ladies 🙂
While there is much I could say about our time there, I am going to do a few short posts about the speakers we sat under and the quotes, ideas, and teaching we received!
This is just going to be bullet-point form…hope you can follow!
This first one is about John Rosemond, a psychologist and author (find his stuff on Amazon here)
His first talk we went to was titled: The Secret to Successful Discipline (the secret will be revealed at the end of the post!)
When considering different parenting/discipline strategies, ask yourself: “Is this concept validated in Scripture?”
Humility vs. self-esteem: people w/high self esteem have low regard for others – they want to be paid attention to and want to be served. So is high self-esteem, which our culture values, something that scripture values?
The more attention you pay a child, the less they pay to you. It is our job to each children by the age of 3 that their primary job is to pay attention to the parent.
Anxiety causes the mom to micromanage. Take care of the big things and let the little things take care of themselves.
Why do we have problems with our children? Because they’re human beings. The only perfect parent created 2 children and they disobeyed the first command given…
As long as we think that problems are emanating from our children we’re not going to solve the problem…
Don’t want arguements? Don’t explain yourself.
1. Always talk to a child from an upright position
2. Use the fewest words possible
3. Never give explanations
4. Say “because I said so”
We are mistakenly looking for solutions – which is a fault of improper thinking – the secret to successful discipline is PROPER THINKING
His second talk we attended was titled: Parenting with Love and Leadership
The modern mom thinks of herself as a single mom and parenting has become bad for the mental health of women
In the 1950s women could be referred to as either a ‘housewife’ or a ‘working wife’
In today’s culture they are referred to as a ‘stay-at-home mom’ or a ‘working mom’
OVERTHINKING prevents us from hearing the soft, still voice of God. Parenting hasn’t become complicated becasue times have changed – it’s because thinking has changed
We can see a character problem developing, yet if we fix it for them we deprive them of an important life lesson
In scripture, children are giving 2 very straight-forward commands: Honor your father and mother & Obey your parents. We are to be God’s substitutes to His children.
Why are we letting our children be in control of what they need?! They only know what they want…They don’t know what reality is in their own life – but we do!
It is unfair to teach a child as if all of life’s problems can be solved
The truth is not positive or negative…it’s THE TRUTH
How do you provide discipleship in any situation? EFFECTIVE LEADERSHIP. A human being’s natural response to effective leadership is submission. Be clear, concise, concrete, and direct. Consequences are Plan B. All you can do is keep doing the right thing even though it isn’t working. Stop searching for the right consequence that produces the right behavior.
1. Act like you know what you’re doing
2. Act like you know why you’re doing it
3. Act like you know what you want
4. Act like you know you’re going to get it
Find more from him at Rosemond.com
What do you think?!
simple thankful radical 
Interesting! I have to think about the “don’t give explanations.” I feel at a certain age there are teaching moments in the “why” but I can see saying “because the Lord says to honor and obey me, this is what you are to do” as a simple, short answer. Isaac does ask a lot of whys and I’m afraid if I only said “because I said so” he would begin to rebel at a certain age simply because he wasn’t taught the truth behind the discipline. He tends to do well with an explanation so he can understand why its wrong. I do agree with the last part in just do what you know you need to do concept. I switched too much as a new parent and nothing worked and we were all miserable. Definitely sounds like an interesting speaker! Thanks for sharing!
His philosophies are very interesting! I’m hoping to borrow Lilli’s book…or at least find a way to read one or two of his to learn more in depth…
Good stuff, Rachel! I so wish we could have gone to the convention this year–we were so blessed by it last year. I’m excited to read the rest of what you learned!!
Rachel – I kind of wondered if we’d run into you guys or Aaron and Jill while we were there! We just SO loved it and are so excited to go back again…blessings on your last few weeks at NTBI! Maybe we’ll run into you this summer 🙂
I love hearing/reading about child development and discipline. This is an interesting perspective. I can’t say I necessarily agree with all of the points, but I may not fully understand your bullet points. 🙂
“Always talk to your child from an upright position” Do you mean standing? I have always been taught to get down on the child’s level. This is for several reasons: 1) Most communication is not words, and the child needs to clearly see your face/emotions to help process the context 2) eye contact can be established which is usually a sign of respect in our culture 3) you limit distractions because you are limiting the distance between the parent and child talking.
“Use the fewest words possible” I agree, completely. 🙂
“Never give explanations” I would disagree with not giving a reason, except for very little ones (as in under 2). A child under 2 doesn’t really understand consequences or explanations so when my daughter was little I would give her a command, and expect her to obey without question. However, as children grow they need to learn the why’s so they better understand and can better obey. If I told my daughter not to do something without explanation, yes she would obey (because when she was little we enforced that) but her mind is growing as is ‘pre-operational’ so it is taking on primitive reasoning. If one denies their child the ability to ask questions between the age 2-4 they are hindering their development.
“Because I said so” I feel like this and the “never give explanations” go hand in hand. I give explanations to my child about everything. I explain why we look when we cross the street. I explain why it is polite to say hello to someone passing by. I feel like actions speak louder than words, so if I am showing my child the correct way to behave I shouldn’t have to say, ‘because I said so’.
I would agree with the “act like” statements as well.
I am definitely intrigued by the author. I might have to go look him up. Thanks for the info 🙂
Amy – I am so glad to hear your thoughts – we agree with a lot of those as well…which is why he was so intriguing! And like my husband said…if someone read a transcript of what he said (which is essentially what this post was) then they may really misunderstand him! So I think there is some that can get lost in translation…but even much more to think, research, and pray about! Hope you guys are well!