Lately God has brought this theme (‘heart condition’) up over and over and over again:
Enemies of the Heart by Andy Stanley
The Well-Trained Heart by Ray and Donna Reish
Homeschool Mom’s group
and of course, Scripture!
Man, is this something God is working on in me.
I know that if I had continued to work (or rather, go back after a maternity leave w/Sully) I would have completely ignored the tugging of the Holy Spirit to work on this area in me.
I would not have let myself have the emotional space for intense heart work – and I would have suppressed this issue in my life, probably causing my anxiety to explode into panic and misplaced fears.
Thank you, God, for discernment, support, encouragement, and obedience (and for 8 months of counseling a year ago!)
So, now that I have been home with 2 babies for over 7 months…I can honestly say that a majority of what I have ‘struggled’ with has been related to the anger that seaps out from my heart into my mind and out of my mouth and it is UGLY!
What little girl wants a mommy who is mad?
Or an infant with a mommy who is frustrated and tired and distracted?
Whew – not me, nor do I want to be that kind of mommy…
We are so blessed to have a living Redeemer who continues to redeem every day situations!
I have begun reading She’s Gonna Blow by Julie Ann Barnhill as recommended by a friend to shed some light on the taboo topic of ‘mommy anger’ (look for some posts coming about that next month)
And just this week, God blessed me with some great reminders of how I am to guard my own heart as part of being blessed to be a mommy of Mylin and Sullivan:
1. Understand our need for God’s help – apart from Him we cannot do this
“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and wordly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.” -Titus 2:11-12
2. YIELD to the work of the Holy Spirit in my life
“The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in hes heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks” – Luke 6:45
(which, by the way, is our memory verse this week…so if you see me, ask me what it is!)
“Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God” -1 Corinthains 4:5
So as we are the mothers and teachers of these young, precious, impressionable souls – we must remember to guard our hearst and keep them:
Enlighted – wise and discerning
Aligned – walk in truth & trust God – NOT ourselves
Caring – compassionate
Humble – but aside pride
Righteous – pure & maintaining integrity
Steadfast – firmly established
“Test me, O LORD, and try me, examine my heart and my mind” – Psalm 26:2
Let us always yearn for truth and righteous change in our lives, never being blind to our faults and growth areas
If you are in a spot where you need more support or a different kind of support than you are already getting – please let me know…I can help you find a counselor, a group, or a friend to talk to! All of these have changed my life at different stages and multiple times! I believe in it 🙂