contentment

i have been struggling with finding contentment in my daily life
a lot of my time is spent with miss mylin – which i enjoy!

however, when i’m nursing her, i’m thinking about whether she’ll fall asleep, how long will she stay asleep, what can i do while she’s sleeping, and if i can get a chance to sleep some too…
then while she’s sleeping i’m worrying about what time she’ll wake up, how long she will eat, if i can manage to eat at the same time, if i can leisurely read while nursing her, or if i’m just going to continue through the will&grace series like i have been…
when i’m away i’m wondering if she’s crying, hungry, gassy, sleeping peacefully at home with daddy or at our parents houses…

all of this to say is that i am not being fully present in the moment of my day – i’m always looking one (or seven) steps ahead instead of finding contentment in the nursing, the napping, the chores, and the time away

any advice or suggestions?!

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2 responses to “contentment

  1. ENJOY this time! It goes by far too quickly. You are also normal. Take this time to enjoy. Leave the house a mess, rest, read, and relax. You have the luxury of only one child. It will never be like this again. πŸ™‚ Of course you don't know luxury until you look back and think "why didn't I enjoy it then???" I hear many older and wiser moms say that the house will be clean one day…not while you have children at home, though.

  2. Your thoughts are a lot of the same ones I had when I first had Maddie. Some of the repetitive tasks of caring for her felt like drudgery, and when I was away, I couldn't stop thinking of her. There is so much uncertainty with parenting too. It really does get more predictable as they get older. Then she'll start to talk. πŸ™‚ And you never know what's going to come out of their mouth.

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